Women Empowerment Wednesday

Ladies, I have found the secret to eternal happiness. I am about to tell you about how you can have a relationship that is always faithful, loving, and lasts a lifetime. This love will knock your socks off, encourage you daily, and take you places you only dreamt about. And the most amazing thing about this relationship, is it is with yourself. Now, I know I may sound crazy so hear me out here. I have preached millions of times to my best friends that you will never EVER be happy with someone else in a relationship until you are happy with yourself. And I believe this whole heartedly. Life will never go your way until you decide to take responsibility for yourself, love yourself, and put yourself and your well being first. A man cannot give you any of this (or woman if you swing that way).

An awesome misconception society has drilled into us is true love with a partner is like two halves becoming one. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! When you enter into any relationship (friendship, working, or romantic) you must be a whole person. If you are a "half" person, you will forever rely on the other half to be whole and complete. You will never do anything by yourself, or for yourself, because you will always be consulting the other half. The beauty of love is when two whole people, who know who they are, what they are, where theyve come from, and where they are going, blend together, remaining individuals that enhance each others wholeness. These are the healthy, lasting relationships.
But you cannot even begin to achieve that level of intimacy and happiness with another person until you have achieved it with yourself. Be intimate with yourself (and if that involves a vibrating apparatus, well so be it). Ladies, we need to know ourselves. When I look in the mirror, I see more than myself, with brown hair, brown eyes, apple cheeks and a chunky waistline. I see a beautiful, intelligent, honest, dedicated, driven, compassionate future doctor. I see love, caring, wit, Independence and grace. I have no imperfections, no matter what Cosmo, Hollywood or the BMI scale tells me. This is the nirvana we as women should be encouraged to achieve. Its not easy to achieve, nor is it easy to maintain. Trust me. Ive been emotionally and verbally beaten by men who said theyve loved me. Ive been dumped on, felt inadequate and misled by a lot of people. But I dont let that change who I am. Unlike a man, I love myself, everyday, no matter what. I will never leave me for a prettier woman, or a greedy business venture. I will never harm myself, physically or emotionally, and I will always go to bed, and wake up, with me. We are the only lasting relationship we can guarantee ourselves; we should nurture this relationship.

say it loud, say it proud. I love myself!

So this brings me to the posed question of why I am attempting to give up Ron Burgundy (which, btw, I did spent the night with him Monday night, and I told him what a jerk I thought he was, and how I feel like he treats me like crap...he agreed, apologized, and said it would get better). You see, I love him. I really do. But loving him also means I have to beat my own emotions down, because I cant express them. Being in his life means I put him first, and me second, and I start to neglect the permanent, irreplaceable relationship Ive built with myself. My brain and good sense tells me this goes against everything I believe in. I cant be in any sort of relationship with him because I cant be a whole person in it; Im down graded to a half person, reliant on his assurance that Im good enough. Its not healthy nor conducive to my relationship with me. Now my heart totally hates this idea. I wont be in Burgundy rehab anytime soon, I know this. He could text me right now and Id drop everything to cuddle with him and spend time with him. But by deleting him from my facebook and my phone, the process has begun. In time, the more distance I place between him and I , the more whole I become again, until I realize, yet again, I will always be good enough to be loved by myself.