Im baaaaaaaack!!! Sorry about the hiatus, I took a break from all things reality. And while Im still living in Monica land, I figure reality is gonna come bite me in the ass soon, so Ill get a head start on it. First and foremost, if you are not already in love with Lily Allen, please go you tube "Who'd have known". That is the type of batshit crazy Ron Burgandy made me. And still makes me. Now now, heres the update, dont get all crazy on me til you know the facts: So I gave him the ultimatum and 5 whole days to think about dating me. Problem #1: he shouldnt HAVE to think. I shouldve known right then and there. But Im stupid, and all I wanted was him to love me so I let him think. Such horseshit. Anyway, I finally asked him a few Fridays ago what his "decision" is (never let a man determine the fate of your relationship....my GOD what happened to me being this strong, independent, aint takin shit from no man person....Im back ladies!!!) and he said he doesnt think he has time for me. SO LONG, MR BURGUNDY! Dont let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Done. Done with you, and your games, and your stupid manipulative kisses. I miss him a tiny bit when Im lonely, but I feel good he is gone. On to bigger (maybe? ;-)) and better things. So I stayed at my mom's for 5 days (it was lovely), finished my Christmas shopping, and have spent some awesome time with my best friends. Can you believe it's almost Christmas???
In the spirit if Christmas, heres a list of things I would like:
1. To spend some time in Florence Italy (or really, anywhere but this Florida hellhole with stupid douchebags)
2, And in Florence, I would like to be accompanied and romanced by one or both of these fine men:
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| Saw him on TV this morning, confirmed he has a wife, and immediately thought of hiring Dexter to fix my problem.... |
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| And of course, when he is done being Dexter, he can take me out to dinner. |
3. Someone to make this Alabama vs Florida rotation for me. Pros: Great opportunity in a great hospital, new place to live, financially sound, new adventure for 2 years! Cons: my family, friends, and classmates are here, i hate change, im scared to death of being alone there. so.....anyone want to decide for me???
4. Ive been working out like a crazy, and started a new eating plan, and am down 7 lbs since August. Ok, I know to some of you skinny bitches that sounds like nothing, but for me, thats amazing. And people keep asking if my boobs are real or C or D cups? They are 100% homegrown, thank you! anyway, so my wish about this is it continues, and my boobs continue to look like tig ol fake bitties,
Ill continue to add to my wishlist for sure, Santa, you better pay attention!! Oh, ok, so I almost forgot. For fun (and maybe something will happen, who knows) I have engaged in online dating. Ive dabbled before, and figured, Im on break, I like dates, why not? Im currently corresponding with, yep, you guess it, a guido!!! I love guidos and i dont care who knows it!!!!!! Ill let you know how our date this weekend goes.
I wish I had the money to go get a mudwrap right now. Groupon, please run that special again after January 5th.... please. Anyway ya'll, Im back, and will be blogging regularly again. Missed you all and love you!
2. To have a nice (preferably handsome) guy take me for a ride around neighborhoods to look at christmas lights. Yes, I know i can get in the car and do it myself. But dammnit this is a wishlist. and thats what i wish for. 
Of course probably the biggest stress Ive had all semester occurs this week, when we start exam season. My stomach is in knots, I cant focus and I just want to cry, and chain smoke (Im not even a smoker really) and drink bottles of wine. Why? Well, hang on to your seats. So Monday was ECG exam. I wish all exams were as straight forward as that one. Here's to maybe getting 100% on a med school exam! I decided to see Ron Burgandy Monday night. We hung out, and laughed, giggled and cuddled as usual. In the morning, my life changed. Tuesday morning was almost too much to handle. So what happened? Well, things got a little out of hand. I have never snapped at him like I did, but for lack of details, he goofed. BIG TIME. So we had gotten ourself into a little mess, but he was a stand up guy and resolved the issue. All day in the forefront of my brain was what am I going to do about my relationship with him. It was time we revisited an ultamatum: Date me like a proper woman or we cant be friends. This friends with benefits thing KILLS me because I want more from him so badly. AND I know he is emotionally involved with me too, but it just hasnt happened. So I stayed with him last night because we both were nervous and scared of the rectification route we chose to "right our wrongs" if you will. This morning I woke up, cuddled with him, walked out the door and cried. I just let it all out. The past 24 hours has been a complete emotional rollercoaster. I dont cry. I always say emotions arent real. But today, they exist. I sent him a text saying he needs to decide. And he responded that right now his focus is on business and not on women, but he doesnt want to lose my company and friendship and is afraid to date me because ill end up disappointed with this commitment since his focus is his business and career. I respect that. But it still stabs me. I told him I cant be friends with him and see him because of how I feel about him and he told me to take some time away and see if we can work it out. I dont want to. I want him to tell me how Im his priority. Its not happening. I dont want to be friends with him, I want time apart to detox and forget about him. 
